雅思作文点评：老龄化快速增长的优缺点 雅思作文范文精选之城乡差距的原因及解决

雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核，综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力，实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说，也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了雅思作文点评：老龄化快速增长的优缺点 雅思作文范文精选之城乡差距的原因及解决，希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题，敬请关注。

雅思作文点评：老龄化快速增长的优缺点

In many countries, the number of elderly people is increasing fast. To what extent do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?

Nowadays, owning to the improvement of living condition(这里习惯用复数), people can live much longer than before, which gives rise to the fast increasing number of elderly people. Some hold that this situation will result in a series of problems, such as social burden, population expansion and so on. While others insist that it agrees the development of modern society and brings many advantages. For my part, I take the latter side with(用for) the following reasons: (74words)

点评：开头稍微写的有点长，不过内容写的还不错。属于通过分析两种不同观点，最后阐述自己观点的写法。(此种写法在雅思大作文的第一段比较常见)

美中不足的是倒数第二句的错误比较明显!while是个连词，应该连接句子与句子，所以这里前面不应该是句号。后面agree是不及物动词，不能直接加宾语。

Firstly, elder people(一会儿elderly people,一会儿又elder people，这不是自相矛盾么!!!) are the fortune of our society. They have enough experiences and capabilities which are badly lacked and needed for our youth when dealing with all sorts of problems, they can still do well in their jobs. Especially(前面应该用逗号，然后这里小写) in some professions, such as teacher, doctor, scientist and so on, sometimes (前面应该用句号，然后这里大写)age means the authority and ability. When you see a doctor, do you prefer an elderly doctor with grey hair or a youth without mustache? (77words)

Secondly, elder people(同上) are the happiness of our society. Increasing number of elderly people is also the embodiment of our improving living quality, which shows our society run(应该第三人称单数)to the right and healthy direction, we(前面句号，这里大写) have more chance and time to serve our elderly people, and it’s the happiest time of all our life to accompany with(accompany是及物动词) our parents, grandparents and great grandparents. (63words)

Finally, elderly people are the lubricant of our society. They have good temper and enough patients(应该是patience吧) to do anything, they can help us to intercede(它是不及物动词，而且主要用人作宾语) social disputes, and they make our society much more harmonious which(前面最好有个逗号)makes for the construction of harmonious society.(43words)

正文段综合点评：此篇是典型的5段式作文的写作，正文段构思出三个分论点来证明自己的观点，的确在构思上花了不少心思。但是，这里我想提的是，还是两方面都分析一下会比较好一点。特别这篇文章是问优点多还是缺点多，那么最好是缺点讲一个，然后优点再讲两个。外国人喜欢这样的辩证分析。

其次，总的来说，作者的语言还是挺流畅的。但是似乎标点有问题，该用句号的时候用逗号，改用逗号的时候用句号，这个也要扣分的!

From mentioned above, the advantages of increasing number of elderly people are obvious more than it disadvantages(典型的Chinese English.应该说there are obviously more advantages than disadvantages.). Elderly people are not the burden of our society but the source of fortune, happiness and harmony of our society.(37words)

全文总评：

尽管总的来说语言水平还是很不错的，内容也写得很充实，但缺点是语言方面还是不够细腻。此文7分。

雅思作文范文精选之城乡差距的原因及解决

　　本文主要是一篇介绍城乡差距的原因及解决的雅思作文范文的文章，从文章的内容到结构的安排相对来讲都是比较合理的，整体给人一种容易理解的感觉，尤其是文章内容简洁明了，阅读者在阅读之后第一时间内就能够充分理解作者所要表达的意思。

　　Topic: The gap between standard of living in the city and the countryside is increasingly becoming wide. How to reduce the difference- 　　All countries with a vast territory face the problem of uneven development between cities and countries. The economic development of China, (which has a territory of 9.6 million square km,) is likened to an eagle spreading only one wing for flight. This implies that while the urban area has made great stride during the 20-odd years of reform and opening, the rural region has lagged behind. What with the external and the internal factors, the gap between them becomes more and more overt. In my submission, what we should do is to suit the remedy to the case. 　　In the first place, the insufficiency of investment in countries accounts mainly for the issue. It has been witnessed in China that most leading cities are scattered along the coastline. It is because that the government devotes more investment in such areas as ShangHai and Shenzhen, with implementing widely open policies. 　　However, this is not the case in rural areas. The lack of investment heavily hampers the productivity and economic development. So, recently the government has been introducing some effective measures, such as, development of western regions, to offer investors more trade and investment opportunities, with the aim of expediting the progress of poverty-ridden interior. 　　In the second place, the low education level in countries attributes to the gap. The form chairman of China, Dengxiaopeng strengthened the notion repeatedly, “Science and technology is the primary productive force.” which illustrates the magnitude of education. Although instruction system in China experienced a rapid advancement in the two decades, the level in countries has not gained overt ground so far. And in true chicken-or-the-egg fashion, the lag of countries deters the progress in education. So I suggest the government should fund on ameliorating the education system not only in “hardware” but also in “software”. 　　In brief, only when the government renders more concerns over the issue, will we enable the eagle to spread both wings. Though it is not an easy nut to crack, I believe this situation will be mend gradually. 　　友情提醒：对于准备雅思考试的考生而言，如果能够在备考中大量阅读这样的雅思作文范文，或多或少会给大家带去一些启发的，有可能的话，还会在考试中给大家提供相应的帮助。

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