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雅思作文范文精选之城乡差距的原因及解决 雅思作文修改:是否应鼓励更多人每天穿传统服装

更新:2023年04月07日 05:51 雅思无忧

雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核,综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力,实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说,也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了雅思作文范文精选之城乡差距的原因及解决 雅思作文修改:是否应鼓励更多人每天穿传统服装,希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题,敬请关注。
雅思作文范文精选之城乡差距的原因及解决 雅思作文修改:是否应鼓励更多人每天穿传统服装

雅思作文范文精选之城乡差距的原因及解决

  本文主要是一篇介绍城乡差距的原因及解决的雅思作文范文的文章,从文章的内容到结构的安排相对来讲都是比较合理的,整体给人一种容易理解的感觉,尤其是文章内容简洁明了,阅读者在阅读之后第一时间内就能够充分理解作者所要表达的意思。

  Topic: The gap between standard of living in the city and the countryside is increasingly becoming wide. How to reduce the difference-   All countries with a vast territory face the problem of uneven development between cities and countries. The economic development of China, (which has a territory of 9.6 million square km,) is likened to an eagle spreading only one wing for flight. This implies that while the urban area has made great stride during the 20-odd years of reform and opening, the rural region has lagged behind. What with the external and the internal factors, the gap between them becomes more and more overt. In my submission, what we should do is to suit the remedy to the case.   In the first place, the insufficiency of investment in countries accounts mainly for the issue. It has been witnessed in China that most leading cities are scattered along the coastline. It is because that the government devotes more investment in such areas as ShangHai and Shenzhen, with implementing widely open policies.   However, this is not the case in rural areas. The lack of investment heavily hampers the productivity and economic development. So, recently the government has been introducing some effective measures, such as, development of western regions, to offer investors more trade and investment opportunities, with the aim of expediting the progress of poverty-ridden interior.   In the second place, the low education level in countries attributes to the gap. The form chairman of China, Dengxiaopeng strengthened the notion repeatedly, “Science and technology is the primary productive force.” which illustrates the magnitude of education. Although instruction system in China experienced a rapid advancement in the two decades, the level in countries has not gained overt ground so far. And in true chicken-or-the-egg fashion, the lag of countries deters the progress in education. So I suggest the government should fund on ameliorating the education system not only in “hardware” but also in “software”.   In brief, only when the government renders more concerns over the issue, will we enable the eagle to spread both wings. Though it is not an easy nut to crack, I believe this situation will be mend gradually.   友情提醒:对于准备雅思考试的考生而言,如果能够在备考中大量阅读这样的雅思作文范文,或多或少会给大家带去一些启发的,有可能的话,还会在考试中给大家提供相应的帮助。

雅思作文修改:是否应鼓励更多人每天穿传统服装

注:一篇学生的习作,里面出现的问题,尤其是首段出现的问题很值得各位雅思学员注意。

希望大家看完原文的开头之后,应该思考我们课堂上所讲的文章开头的背景交代的改写方法。

Topic: In many countries people no longer wear their national costumes. They are forgetting their history and traditions, more people should be encouraged to wear their national costumes everyday. Do you agree or disagree.

原文:

In this day and age, as a pace of social development, a various kinds of clothes are winning tremendous popularity in some countries. But in the meantime, it has drawn a great deal of attention to the problem that whether more people should be encouraged to wear national clothes everyday. As far as I am concerned, people should not wear them per day.

In the first place, it is generally acknowledge that traditional clothes of some countries are unconvenient for national residents to work. It is a fact that some of their costumes, such as kimono of Japan,cheongsam of china and Korea-style cothes, they are too long and big to work. In particular policemen and doctors,these careers are hard to be done if they are wearing such clothes.

In the second place, not wearing national costumes doesnot mean their citizens forgetting their history and traditions. Some countries’ history and traditions are still studied by young children. Take Japanese as an example, they always knee down when they are eating meals.

Finally, clothes should be kept abreast with step of social development. The style of clothes can mirror the custom in a period of time in a country. Dr. Wang who especialize in sociey asses*ent supported this view in a paper. And he said that people living in this fast-pace society should wear neat clothes which are conveninet when they are working.

To sum up, I completely disagree with wiew that people wear the national clothes everyday in the current society. In my opinion, with amount of colthes into our lives,our daily lives should be colorful and fashionable.

点评:

1. 原文开头模板痕迹比较明显,而且未能将背景信息交代清楚。应该按照课上所讲审题步骤理清文章的习作思路:即,BI(Background information)+WT(writing tasks)。因此,首段应该交代好背景信息和自己的观点(已交代)。

2. 原文中部分句子之间的Cohesion出现问题。如, “Some countries’ history and traditions are still studied by young children.” 是对上句的佐证,需加入对比联系词in fact/ on the contrary

3. 文章多次出现单词拼写错误,希望引起足够重视。

4. 文章最后可以在分析不必要性之后,提出消除人们担心的办法。

修改:

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