雅思作文点评：老龄化快速增长的优缺点 8月13日雅思作文真题范文

雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核，综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力，实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说，也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了雅思作文点评：老龄化快速增长的优缺点 8月13日雅思作文真题范文，希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题，敬请关注。

雅思作文点评：老龄化快速增长的优缺点

In many countries, the number of elderly people is increasing fast. To what extent do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?

Nowadays, owning to the improvement of living condition(这里习惯用复数), people can live much longer than before, which gives rise to the fast increasing number of elderly people. Some hold that this situation will result in a series of problems, such as social burden, population expansion and so on. While others insist that it agrees the development of modern society and brings many advantages. For my part, I take the latter side with(用for) the following reasons: (74words)

点评：开头稍微写的有点长，不过内容写的还不错。属于通过分析两种不同观点，最后阐述自己观点的写法。(此种写法在雅思大作文的第一段比较常见)

美中不足的是倒数第二句的错误比较明显!while是个连词，应该连接句子与句子，所以这里前面不应该是句号。后面agree是不及物动词，不能直接加宾语。

Firstly, elder people(一会儿elderly people,一会儿又elder people，这不是自相矛盾么!!!) are the fortune of our society. They have enough experiences and capabilities which are badly lacked and needed for our youth when dealing with all sorts of problems, they can still do well in their jobs. Especially(前面应该用逗号，然后这里小写) in some professions, such as teacher, doctor, scientist and so on, sometimes (前面应该用句号，然后这里大写)age means the authority and ability. When you see a doctor, do you prefer an elderly doctor with grey hair or a youth without mustache? (77words)

Secondly, elder people(同上) are the happiness of our society. Increasing number of elderly people is also the embodiment of our improving living quality, which shows our society run(应该第三人称单数)to the right and healthy direction, we(前面句号，这里大写) have more chance and time to serve our elderly people, and it’s the happiest time of all our life to accompany with(accompany是及物动词) our parents, grandparents and great grandparents. (63words)

Finally, elderly people are the lubricant of our society. They have good temper and enough patients(应该是patience吧) to do anything, they can help us to intercede(它是不及物动词，而且主要用人作宾语) social disputes, and they make our society much more harmonious which(前面最好有个逗号)makes for the construction of harmonious society.(43words)

正文段综合点评：此篇是典型的5段式作文的写作，正文段构思出三个分论点来证明自己的观点，的确在构思上花了不少心思。但是，这里我想提的是，还是两方面都分析一下会比较好一点。特别这篇文章是问优点多还是缺点多，那么最好是缺点讲一个，然后优点再讲两个。外国人喜欢这样的辩证分析。

其次，总的来说，作者的语言还是挺流畅的。但是似乎标点有问题，该用句号的时候用逗号，改用逗号的时候用句号，这个也要扣分的!

From mentioned above, the advantages of increasing number of elderly people are obvious more than it disadvantages(典型的Chinese English.应该说there are obviously more advantages than disadvantages.). Elderly people are not the burden of our society but the source of fortune, happiness and harmony of our society.(37words)

全文总评：

尽管总的来说语言水平还是很不错的，内容也写得很充实，但缺点是语言方面还是不够细腻。此文7分。

2021年8月13日雅思作文真题范文

下面是2021年8月13日雅思作文真题范文的详细内容，2021年8月13日雅思作文真题题目是关于有人认为学校设立的目的就是为了把孩子变成一个好的公民和工人，而不是使他们在个人身份上获益。你在何种程度上同意还是不同意这个观点呢?

Some people think that the main purpose of school is to turn children to good citizens and workers, rather than benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

A person in shanghai, with a doctor’s degree, supposed to contribute greatly to the development of the society, turned out to inflict a huge loss valued 3 billion RMB to the country. Thus, whether schools should turn children into qualified citizens and employees or conduct education for their personal benefits is under a heated debate. In my opinion, the former side carries more weight than the latter.

Only when students are educated to be good citizens and workers, can the sound progress of the society be maintained, and positive social order be established. Otherwise, the damages from the well-educated but ill-willed ones may be disasters to others and the nation. Besides, the development of society is based on the contribution of its citizens, which is hard to be achieved when the citizens are not provided reasonable guidance and moral education, no matter how they are powerful in their individual abilities.

Educating the children to be ones that are needed in the society will help to serve a guiding light in the growth of the children. They will learn to tell the right from the wrong, and develop into the ones that can contribute to the country rather than the ones to hinder or undermine the development of the society. Also, the children will gradually form into the awareness to be members in the society, rather than focus too much on their own interests to be selfish ones.

Admittedly, being trained in skills and enriched in knowledge, the children themselves can, in some sense, benefit a lot in the process of education. However, this is just the side effect of schoolings, and just as we cannot deny the main functions of medicines because of their existing side effects, we cannot turn our attention from the main functions of schools in educating the children to be good citizens and workers to the education for personal benefits.

To sum up, the main purpose of schooling is to train children to become the ones needed by the society instead of just for the sake of improving their private abilities. Only in a society with enough qualified citizens, can it be developed sustainably and promisingly.

以上就是2021年8月13日雅思作文真题范文的全部内容，是站在不同意题目的观点的角度上展开的，结构清晰，内容丰富。大家在备考雅思作文考试的时候，可以参考借鉴一下上面所列的雅思作文真题范文。

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