当前位置:雅思无忧 > 雅思写作 > 正文

让你的雅思作文简洁完美的三条建议 4月3日雅思作文范文

更新:2023年04月24日 16:09 雅思无忧

雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核,综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力,实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说,也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了让你的雅思作文简洁完美的三条建议 4月3日雅思作文范文,希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题,敬请关注。
让你的雅思作文简洁完美的三条建议 4月3日雅思作文范文

让你的雅思作文简洁完美的三条建议


  很多学生在练习英文作文时,认为长句、难句或复杂句能够提升文章的语言质量,展示自己“深厚”的语言功底,并因此获得更高的分数。他们在备考复习时也花了很多精力在长句的练习上,考试时也会尽量使用长句。这种想法确实有一定的道理,因为很多考试如新托福的写作科目评分标准中确实有从语法或用词的多样性等角度考察语言质量的评分项目,考生如果能够熟练地运用各种句式写出精彩的长句,确实能给文章增色不少。

  然而,雅思中国网雅思专家认为:一味地追求句子的长度有时反而会牺牲句子的“可读性”,特别是对一些基础一般的学生来说,有时生硬地追求长句反而破坏了句子的句法准确性。下面我们就来看一些例子,体会一些写得并不成功的长句和怎样修改的建议:

  建议一: 避免空洞的单词和词组

  1. 一些空洞的单词或词组根本不能为句子带来任何相关的或重要的信息,完全可以被删掉。比如下面的句子:

  When all things are considered, young *s of today live more satisfying lives than those of their parents, in my opinion。
  这句话当中的“when all things are considered”和“in my opinion“都显得多余。完全可以去掉。改为:
  Young *s of today live more satisfying lives than their parents。

  2. 有些空洞和繁琐的表达方式可以进行替换,例如:

  Due to the fact that our grandparents were under an obligation to help their parents, they did not have the options that young people have at this point in time。
  “due to the fact that”就是一个很典型的繁琐的表达方式的例子,可以替换,简化为下面的表达方式:
  Because our grandparents were obligated to help their parents, they did not have the options that young people have now。

  建议二: 避免重复

  1. 尽量避免重复使用同样的词汇。或者有的时候虽然词汇没有重复,但意思却有重复。这时候可以做一些简化的工作。例如下面这个例子::

  The farm my grandfather grew up on was large in size。
  large 对一个farm来说就是size方面的large,所以in size可以去掉,改为:
  The farm my grandfather grew up on was large。

  更简洁的表达方式为:

  My grandfather grew up on a large farm。

  2. 有时一个词组可以用一个更简单的单词来替换,例如:

  My grandfather has said over and over again that he had to work on his parents' farm。
  这里的over and over again就可以改为repeatedly,显得更为简洁:
  My grandfather has said repeatedly that he had to work on his parents' farm。

  建议三:选择最恰当的语法结构

  选择合适的语法结构可以使句子意思的表达更为精确和简练。虽然语法的多样性也很重要,但选择最恰当的语法结构仍然是更为重要的考虑因素。以下原则是在考虑选择何种语法结构时可以参考的原则:

  1. 一个句子的主语和谓语动词应该能够反映句子中的最重要的意思。例如:.

  The situation that resulted in my grandfather's not being able to study engineering was that his father needed help on the farm。
  从意思上来分析,上面这句话需要表达的重要的概念是“grandfather's not being able to study”,而在表达这个概念时,原句用的主语是situation,谓语动词是was,不能强调需要表达的重点概念,可以改为下面这句话:
  My grandfather couldn't study engineering because his father needed help on the farm。

  2. 避免频繁使用“there be”结构,例如下面的句子:

  There were 25 cows on the farm that my grandfather had to milk every day. It was hard work for my grandfather。

  可以改为:
  My grandfather worked hard. He had to milk 25 cows on the farm every day。

  更简洁的句式为:
  My grandfather worked hard milking 25 cows daily。

  3. 把从句改为短语或单词。例如:

  Dairy cows were raised on the farm, which was located100 kilometers from the nearest university and was in an area that was remote。

  简介的表达方式为:
  The dairy farm was located in a remote area, 100 kilometers to the nearest university。

  4. 仅在需要强调宾语而不是主语的时候,才使用被动语态。例如:

  In the fall, not only did the cows have to be milked, but also the hay was mowed and stacked by my grandfather's family。

  本句不够简洁的原因是本句的重心应该是“忙碌的家庭-my grandfather's family”,而使用了被动语态后,仿佛重心变成了cows和hay。下面的表达方式是主动语态,相对来说更简洁一些:

  In the fall, my grandfather's family not only milked the cow but also mowed and stacked the hay。

  5. 用更为精确的一个动词来代替动词短语,例如下面这句话:

  My grandfather didn't have time to stand around doing nothing with his school friends。
  Stand around doing nothing其实可以用一个动词来表达,即loiter:
  My grandfather didn't have time to loiter with his school friends。

  6. 有时两句话的信息经过组合完全可以用一句话来简练地表达,例如:

  Profits from the farm were not large. Sometimes they were too *all to meet the expenses of running a farm. They were not sufficient to pay for a university degree。

  两句话的信息可以合并为下面这句更为简洁的句子:

  Profits from the farm were sometimes too *all to meet operational expenses, let alone pay for a university degree。

4月3日雅思作文范文

发贴:北语雅思

这是个很古老的题目的翻版。1999年有过这样一个题目:

Contrary to people's belief, international touri* does not promote understanding between people from different cultures. To what extent do you agree?

范文:

Every year, hundreds of millions of people move around to see a different part of the world. It is natural to assume that tourists who have seen other countries have a better knowledge of the people. That assumption also leads to the conclusion that international touri* promotes understanding between nations. How true is this? Let us examine what tourists do in a different country.
First, before going abroad, tourists are often told by their travel agents of the possible hazards which sometimes include local people. They are given example of extreme cases where victims are always the travelers. Then, when they arrive, they are immediately taken to their hotels in big coaches. They flood places where local people don't go. Their shopping, meals, entertainment all take place in secluded areas. They wear a bubble all the way. Apart from speaking to the guide and a few shop assistants, tourists rarely talk to the local people. To make it even worse, they meet pickpockets, they are ripped off by dishonest traders. Furthermore, very few local people bother to talk to them out of a genuine interest in the guests' country, people and culture. Therefore, when asked how much they know about the local people, their answer is "very little".
If someone really wants to understand a different culture, he has to learn its language, stay there for at least a few month without wearing a bubble, learn how to curse and swear, bargain with a vegetable vendor and then he can say that he understands the people.(258 words)
简评:
这是一个已在西方得到广泛讨论的题目,普遍被接受的答案是旅游起不到促进民族、文化之间的交流与理解。
不同文化所推崇的东西也不同,这里有一个political correctness的问题。
要注意西方的时尚,如裘皮大衣、红木家具就不为青年人所推崇,参加旅游团也是退休的老头、老太太们的事。我们所追求的内容,如私人轿车、(旅行团式的)出国旅游在一些西方人看来有点“傻”。一些雅思考官就是这样的人。他们理应只评判我们的语言,但内容上能与他们的思想合拍岂不更好?
注意第二段中 first, then, to make it even worse, furthermore 的用法。

摘自《IELTS应试指南》,北京语言大学出版社,2000年10月出版,作者:陈卫东

以上就是雅思无忧网为您准备的访问雅思无忧网(https://www.yasi.cn/),了解更多雅思考试新消息,新动态。

雅思培训
免责声明:文章内容来自网络,如有侵权请及时联系删除。
推荐阅读
标签 - 专题
  鲁ICP备18049789号-14

2022雅思无忧网版权所有 All right reserved. 版权所有

警告:未经本网授权不得转载、摘编或利用其它方式使用上述作品