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雅思作文修改:传统文化在流失 雅思作文范文:电脑游戏有助老年人保持智力

更新:2023年04月30日 01:00 雅思无忧

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雅思作文修改:传统文化在流失 雅思作文范文:电脑游戏有助老年人保持智力

雅思作文修改:传统文化在流失


  对于雅思写作而言,写完了修改的过程才是雅思写作中重要的过程,为此小编特收集整理关于传统文化在流失的雅思作文修改,分享给大家,希望对大家有所帮助,文中观点仅供参考。
  题目:As the development of modern science and technologh,some aspects of traditional culture are being lost, so some people think that the traditional culture and technologh will be replaced by the modern science and technology such as computer or internet, what is your opinion?
  原文:
  It has been widely noted that some aspects of tradional cuture are being lost along with the development of modern science. As far as I concerned, the traditional culture and technologh will be replaced by the modern one for several reasons as follows,
  My first reason is that the traditional culture is hindering the development of new science which can improve people's life. Traditional technology always combines with low efficiency. Suppose if the scientists are still using cars to go abroad and attand meetings, the cloning technique will be found many years later, and consequently, a lot of patient have died.
  My second reason is based on the high fees used to protect the traditional culture. Government provide a huge amount of money to rebuild or decorate the old buildings just because they were built by our ancestors, never thinking of their uselessness for accomodation. If the money used to protect these buildings is delivered to the poor, a lot of them will solve the accomodation problem.
  My third reason is that people prefer the modern science and technology with the increasingly improved education system. Twenty-first century has seen a great deal of development in the proportion of people who have taken the high education. They are more willing to use the modern science. For instance, college student always collect their thesis materials by surfing the Internet instead of borrowing books from the libraries.
  All in all, although traditional culture is a heritage from the ancient, it couldn't keep pace with the development of society. The traditional culture and technology have no place in the future and will be eliminated in the end.
  I want to ask what aspects I should improve if I want to get 6.5 in writing?
  修改:
  It is widely noted that some aspects of traditional culture
  has been lost along with the development of modern science. As far as I concerned, the traditional culture and technology will be replaced in this modern erafor several reasons.
  My first reason is that the traditional culture is hindering the development of new science which can improve people's life. Traditional technologies are always considered to be low efficiency. Suppose if the scientists are still using cars to go abroad and attand meetings, the cloning technique will be found many years later, and consequently, a lot of patient have died.
  (this doesn’t make any sense, going abroad by car is nonsense, and it has no relationship to cloning technique, patient’s death is not necessarily as of the result from the delay of commuter.) Recommendation: revise and think of a more persuasive reasoning and logics.
  My second reason is based on the high cost used to protect the traditional culture. Government provides a huge amount of money to rebuild or decorate the old buildings just because they were built by our ancestors; they seldom
  considered their usefulness for accommodation. If the money used to protect these buildings was instead delivered to the poor, a lot of them will solve the accommodation problem.
  My third reason is that people prefer modern science and technology with the increasingly improved education system. Twenty-first centuries has been seenhigh the proportion of people who have taken the higher education. They are more willing to use the modern science. For instance, college student always collect their thesis materials by surfing the Internet instead of borrowing books from the libraries.
  All in all, although traditional culture is a heritage from the ancient, it couldn't keep pace with the development of society. The traditional culture and technology have no place in the future and will be eliminated in the end.
  以上就是传统文化在流失的雅思作文修改的全部介绍,希望对大家有所帮助,最后祝大家都能考出好成绩。

雅思作文范文:电脑游戏有助老年人保持智力


  雅思作文主要考察学生对词汇、语法的掌握,以及逻辑和结构构架能力,一篇好的雅思作文范文能够帮助同学们抓住雅思作文的得分点,并能给大家提供提供高分词汇和句式。下面,我们就来看一篇雅思作文范文:关于生活方式。
  Many over-60s may never have played a video game, nor have any inclination to do so. New research, however, suggests that playing strategic video games – those that emphasise resource management and planning, for example – may help the elderly to maintain mental abilities including memory, reasoning and the capacity for multi-tasking。
  Arthur Kramer of the University of Illinois said it was the first study to find improvement in cognitive skills that were not directly related to the skills learned in the game. The research is published in the journal Psychology and Aging。
  The game used in the study was “Rise of Nations”, in which gamers score points for building cities, feeding and employing their people, and maintaining and expanding their territory. Participants in the study who were trained to play the game showed significant cognitive benefits compared with those who were not: they were able to switch between tasks better and faster, and their working memory significantly improved。
  “This is one mode in which older people can stay mentally fit, cognitively fit,” Prof Kramer said, adding that socialising, exercising and eating well were also important to mental health in later years。
  许多60岁以上的老人可能从未玩过电脑游戏,也没有打算这样做。不过,一项新的研究表明,玩战略性电脑游戏——例如那些强调资源管理和规划的游戏——可能有助于老年人保持智力,包括记忆、推理和多任务处理能力等。
  伊利诺伊大学(University of Illinois)的亚瑟?克雷默(Arthur Kramer)表示,这项研究首次发现,与游戏中所学技能没有直接关系的认知技能得到改善。该研究发表在《心理学与衰老》(Psychology and Aging)杂志上。
  研究中使用的游戏是“国家的崛起”(Rise of Nations)。在游戏中,通过修建城市、供养和雇佣自己的人民以及保护和扩张自己的领土,玩家都可以得分。在研究参与者中,接受打游戏培训的人比没有接受的人显示出了明显的认知益处:他们能够更好更快地进行任务转换,而且工作记忆有了显著提高。
  克雷默表示:“这是一种老年人保持精神健康、认知健康的模式。”他补充道,社交、锻炼和吃得好对晚年的精神健康也很重要。
  当然我们并不主张考生死记雅思作文范文,考试时如果遇到类似题目照搬上去,这并不能考察考生的写作能力。大家多背一些范文,可以积累一些素材,像好的短语、词、句等,灵活运用,才是正确的备考之道。

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