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雅思学校教育英语作文范文(【雅思作文批改】5分:过于口语化,注意语法)

更新:2025年01月26日 20:23 雅思无忧

今天雅思无忧小编整理了雅思学校教育英语作文范文(【雅思作文批改】5分:过于口语化,注意语法)相关内容,希望能帮助到大家,一起来看下吧。

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雅思学校教育英语作文范文(【雅思作文批改】5分:过于口语化,注意语法)

雅思学校教育英语作文范文

以下是一篇关于学校教育的雅思作文范文:
题目:Somepeoplethinkthatschoolsshouldfocusonteachingacademicsubjects,whileother*elievethatschoolsshouldplacemoreemphasisonteachingpracticalskills.Discus*othviewsandgiveyourownopinion.
范文:
Introduction:Inrecentyears,debateshavearisenregardingtheprimaryfocusofschooleducation.Somearguethatschoolsshouldprioritizeteachingacademicsubjects,whileother*elievethatteachingpracticalskillsshouldtakeprecedence.Inthisessay,Iwilldiscus*othperspectivesandprovidemyownopinion.
Teachingacademicsubjects:Oneargumentinfavorofprioritizingacademicsubjectsisthattheyprovidestudentswithastrongfoundationforfurthereducationandfuturecareerprospects.Academicsubjects,sucha*athematicsandscience,developcriticalthinkingskillsand*yticalabilities,whichareessentialinvariousfieldsofstudy.Moreover,asolidunderstandingofacademicsubjectsoftenservesasaprerequisiteforadmissiontouniversitiesandhighereducationinstitutions.
Teachingpracticalskills:Ontheotherhand,proponentsofpracticalskillsarguethatschoolsshouldplacemoreemphasisonequippingstudentswithskillsthataredirectlyapplicabletotheirdailylivesandfuturecareers.Practicalskills,suchascommunication,problem-solving,andteamwork,areessentialinnavigatingthechallengesoftherealworld.Byfosteringpracticalskills,schoolsnotonlypreparestudentsfortheworkforcebutalsoempowerthemtobecomeindependentandadaptableindividualscapableofnavigatingvariouslifesituations.
personalopinion:Whileacademicsubjectsundoubtedlyplayavitalroleinastudent'seducation,Ibelievethatschoolsshouldstrikeabalanceandprovideopportunitiesforthedevelopmentofbothacademicknowledgeandpracticalskills.Withastrongfoundationinacademicsubjects,studentscanacquirethenecessaryskillsforcriticalthinkingandproblem-solving.However,practicalskillsareequallyimportantinpreparingstudentsfortherealworldandenablingthemtothriveintheirpersonalandprofessionallives.
Conclusion:Inconclusion,thedebateaboutwhetherschoolsshouldfocusprimarilyonteachingacademicsubjectsorpracticalskillscontinuestogeneratediscussion.Whileacademicsubjectslaythegroundworkforadvancededucationandcareeropportunities,practicalskillsarecrucialforstudents'personalandprofessionaldevelopment.Therefore,awell-roundededucationthatencompasse*othacademicknowledgeandpracticalskillsisessentialinpreparingstudentsforfuturesuccess.
这篇范文在介绍部分直截了当地呈现了论题,并在过渡自然的情况下展示了两种观点。随后,论文分别列举了教授学术科目和教授实用技能的理由和重要性,并在第三段中给出了个人观点,主张学校应该注重培养学生的学术知识和实用技能。在结尾部分,论文对观点进行总结,并强调了平衡的重要性。通过清晰的逻辑和结构清晰的写作风格,这篇作文充分展示了作者的观点并对问题进行了深入分析。

【雅思作文批改】5分:过于口语化,注意语法

【雅思作文批改】5分:过于口语化,注意语法
1、*应该对铁路比公路花钱? 这位同学整体架构比较完整,但是口语化比较严重,语法错误比较多,基础不够扎实,需多多练习。最终得分4.5-5分,还有很大的进步空间。
作文题目:大作文:剑11Test1大作文
Governments should spend
money on railways rather than roads.To what extent do you agree or disagree
with this statement?
作文内容:
Traffic problem has
disturbed government for a long term,as a lot of measure [b1] have been taken to solve
that, [b2] there are still some
problems remained,m[b3] any people say that
government should spend more money on rail rather than road,but i can not[b4]
totally agree with this
opinion.
Railway, comparing [b5] with road,has larger
capacity to load
[b6] goods or people,and it
is also a good choice for long-distance travel.One of the advantages of rail
is that you will never meet a traffic light or jam on your way to the destiny[b7] .Government have invest [b8] a lot to make it more safe[b9]
and convenient[b10] ,but sometimes it [b11] still makes trouble for people when it is at[b12]
peak time;[b13] such as Spring Festival in China,there are even not enough tickets
for those passengers who want to go home and [b14] they have to stay in the waiting room for a long time.So more
basic facilities or more trains are needed to serve such a large number of
people and increase the degree of comfort in passenger s [b15] journey.
On the contrast,road ,as
another way that frequently used,is more flexible than railway,b[b16] ut things changed when traffic condition is poor,ad [b17] people nowadays spend a lot of time on traffic jam due to the
increasing number of private cars,especially in those major cities.In order
to figure this problem,government should invest to build more roads like [b18] overhead-roads to release the traffic stress ,so that the air quality[b19]
in cities will improve a lot ,too.[b20]
Overall,fund [b21] are needed in both of areas,but it is not wise to say that more
money should be used in rail or road,it must according [b22] to the circumstance.
[b1]measures
[b2]but
[b3]注意断句,Many
[b4]写作中是cannot
[b5]compared
[b6]transfer
[b7]destination
[b8]has invested
[b9]safer
[b10]more convenient
[b11]指谁?
[b12]改成during
[b13]符号不对
[b14]又是连接谁?
[b15]passengers
[b16]另起一句,大写
[b17]?
[b18]这是口语用词
[b19]和空气质量有关这个逻辑在哪里?
[b20]口语
[b21]funds
[b22]情态动词后用原形
各项细评:
针对问题最大的一点指出问题:
改这篇文章感觉像是改口语段子,因为口语化的说法很多,最大的问题是简单语法错误和复杂语法中句子的断句。句子可以写长,但长句也遵循语法规则,需要连词或者合适的代词。需要系统学习语法。
临考前建议整理一下论点思路,考场发挥尽量不要出大的语法错误就可以了。
附批改原图:
END

生物多样性的雅思英语作文范文

以下是生物多样性的雅思英语作文范文:
TheImportanceofBiodiversity
BiodiversityisthevarietyoflifeonEarth,includingdifferentspecies,ecosystemsandgeneticvariationwithinspecies.Itisoneofthemostimportantaspectsofourplanet'slifesupportsystem,whichiscrucialforhumanwell-beingandsurvival.
Biodiversityplaysavitalroleinprovidingessentialecosystemservicessuchascleanairandwater,pollination,nutrientcycling,soilfertility,naturaldisasterreduction,diseasecontrolandclimateregulation.Italsoprovidesuswithawiderangeofresourcesincludingfood,fuel,fibresandmedicine.Inaddition,biodiversityisimportantformaintainingthebalanceofecosystems,whichensuresthelong-termsustainabilityoflifeonEarth.
However,humanactivitiessuchasdeforestation,pollution,climatechangeandoverexploitationofnaturalresourcesarecausingabiodiversitycrisiswithcatastrophicconsequencesfortheenvironmentandhumansociety.Thelossofbiodiversitycanleadtothecollapseofcriticalecosystemservices,makingitmoredifficulttoprovidebasicneedsfortheworld'sgrowingpopulation.
Therefore,itiscrucialtoprotectandconservebiodiversity.Thisrequiresacombinationofgovernmentpolicies,educationandawareness-raising,scientificresearchandcommunityengagement.Wemustalsoreduceourimpactontheenvironmentbyadoptingsustainablepracticesinagriculture,forestry,fisheriesandindustry.
Inconclusion,biodiversityisessentialforourplanet'slifesupportsystemandhumanwell-being.Iti*oreimportantthaneverthatwetakeactiontoprotectandconservebiodiversitybeforeitistoolate.

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