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雅思作文修改:new 美国老师的雅思作文范文赏析

更新:2023年03月26日 23:54 雅思无忧

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雅思作文修改:new 美国老师的雅思作文范文赏析

雅思作文修改:new language should be invented

题目:Some people think that a new language should be invented for people from different countries to use for the international communication. To what extent do you think its advantages far outweigh its disadvantages?

其实这篇并不怪啊,就相当于我发的讲义的重点题目第一题,一种全球化的语言。

In the contemporary world, globalization is making a large incidence around the world. The issue of invented a fresh language is an emotional one, with some people talking the attitude that is necessary to contrive a new language for people from different countries to use for the international communication.

The reason for this trend may involve the recognition that different language may cause dispensable trouble, even lead to a war and also restricted people who can only use their mother tongue to communicate with external people. By contrast, those who can use foreign language to get a high-paid career and immigrate to other countries have a high quality life. They tend to be more enlighten may to they broader view. Admittedly, having ability to communicate with people who has different culture background is increasingly remarkable. So, invented a new language may bring numerous benefits to not only a person, but countries from all over the world.

第一个立论段落的问题:主题句涵盖太多内容,太宽泛,变成几乎没有主题句

However, a great language frequently link to a variety of culture. Furthermore, originate a new language is a long-term evolution like Chinese. Classical Chinese is the beginning of Chinese which is throughout 5000 years of history and gradually evolve to modern language called Modern Vernacular Chinese. During that time, Chinese shaped a colorful culture which is magnificent at present. But, current science and technology is become increasing advancing. Scientist may totally create a new language which is combine diversity of culture.

这段的论述有点离题了

Overall, despite of creating a language may during a long-term period. But, modern technology can reduce that period and eventually contrive a new language. Speaking myself, its benefits are significant contributing factors to the development of world.

给你一点论据:

支持:

1. 个人生活,学习,工作带来方便

2. 促进世界的经济发展,国与国的沟通,社会进步

不支持:

1. 造成很多小语种和少数民族文化的消失

2. 造成世界的uniformity,使人们的生活变的dull或monotonous

美国老师的雅思作文范文赏析

题目:

Children who grow up in families which are short of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of * life than children who are brought up by wealthy parents.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

参考范文:

Some feel that the children of low income families are better equipped to deal with difficulties posed by the “real world” when they grow up and they also believe the privileged children of wealthy families are less fit to deal with these difficulties.The implications and veracity of this argument seem self-evident,but in fact require closer examination.

The popular wisdom is that children of poorer families learn early on the value of a buck ,and are thus naturally better suited to stretching money when times get tough in *hood. Inversely, the children of wealthy families,thoseborn with a silver spoon in their mouths,are believed to be completely ignorant of the tentimes erroneously expecting the same situation in *hood.They are believed to be prone to overspending and financial irresponsibility. This belief,though logical,overlooks one key point which is,of course,education.

The basis of this argument is,of course,knowing the value of money ,and the idea that children of the poor know this,and those of the wealthy do not.Who though,is in a better position to teach their children the value of money,someone skilled in earning and keeping it,the wealthy parent,or someone who can not seem to acquire it,the poor parent? Both wealthy and poor children are equally likely to acquire an education in money,whether it is formal,or in the school of hard knocks. Conversely, both children are as likely to ignore this education.

A poor child may believe that one can get along,if not as easily,without wealthy.A wealthy child may be well trained by a parent steeped in the knowledge of money management,the key to developing this skill is education.

本文摘自新东方张弛新博客

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