如何拯救你字数不够的雅思作文 雅思作文修改：money

雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核，综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力，实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说，也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了如何拯救你字数不够的雅思作文 雅思作文修改：money，希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题，敬请关注。

如何拯救你字数不够的雅思作文？

在雅思议论文写作中，通常建议大家遵循introduction- body-conclusion(引言段-主体段-结论段)的“三步曲”。Body(主体)段落提供了论证观点的理由，是整个文章的主体，在评分中占有很大的比重。

例如9分雅思作文评分就要求：

presents a fully developed position in answer to the question with relevant, fully extended and well supported ideas

如果你问，什么叫fully extended / well supported?就是丰满的主体段。

即使是5分作文，也要求：

is well organized and well developed, using clearly appropriate explanations, exemplifications, and/or details

即同样要主体段落丰满才行。

一般来说，想要雅思作文写的好，至少需要含有两个主体段，且每个主体段都必须拥有明确的主题句即topic sentence，并有若干句supporting sentences，也就是我们常说的论据与论点。建议大家在练习议论文写作时遵循几个简单的原则，就能够迅速完成理由段，并且构建连贯和理由充分的议论文哦!

Write a topic sentence for each paragraph you plan to write. Each topic sentence should relate to your thesis statement and introduce what the paragraph will be about. If you find that the topics you want to discuss do not support the thesis statement you have written, revise your thesis statement or reconsider your topic sentences.

简单的来说，就是每一段，必!须!拥有一个明确的主题句，所有论据都围绕这一句展开，避免小段跑题。

Write ideas that support your topic sentences. The topic sentence for each paragraph tells the reader what the paragraph will be about. The ideas stated in the rest of the paragraph should all relate to the topic sentence.

支持句必须围绕主题句展开，烤鸭们一定要注意这一点，如果跑题，那么就会出现较为严重的扣分，那可真是哭都来不及啦!

例子看这里

Hobbies are important for many reasons. First, a hobby can be educational. For example, if the hobby is stamp collecting, the person can learn about the countries of the world and even some of their history. Second, engaging in a hobby can lead to meeting other people with the same interests. A person can also meet other people by going to the school. Third, a person's free time is being used in a positive way. The person has no time to be bored or get into mischief while engaged in the hobby. Finally, some hobbies can lead to a future job. A person who enjoys a hobby-related job is moresatisfied with life.

后面紧跟的First，second, third都是为了支持前面的第一句话。此外，在每一个点，又加入新的支持。比如在First句后面，又加了For example，来支持前面的观点，这样层层递进，文章就看起来格外的脉络清晰。这句中，很明显主题句就是Hobbies are important for many reasons.

但本段也并非完美无瑕哦~ A person can also meet other people by going the school"与hobby重要的原因没有关系，因此削弱了整个段落的连贯性与统一性，应该被去掉。

雅思作文修改：money spent on art or education

题目：Many countries spend a lot of money in art. Some people think investment in art is necessary, but others say money is better spent on improving health and education. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In the contemporary world, art cost（costs） a large figure of money. Some people claim is necessary to invest in art. But still have some people deem that fund should spend（be spent） more on improving health and education instead of art. As far as I am concerned, the first view is overly simplistic.

Speaking myself, protecting art and diffuse it, is the precondition of advancing health and education. The first instance with respect to this is that the aggression on china in the early twenty century. Union army from eight countries used force and entry Yuan-Ming Imperial Garden where save the outstanding representation of Chinese artworks. A greatest art gold mine was destroyed at that time may due to the government of Qing Dynasty inability to strengthen their military and lock of money to maintain it exist. Before long, opium was widespread in china and contributes to negative quality of generation. Second place, education has to link to art, art is a soul of nation. There is no denying that no one country educates offspring without art. To a great extent, investment in art is a significant factor contributing to the development of person happiness and enjoyment.

这段的论据有点扯远了，而且你说的有误，圆明园不是八国联军抢的，是英法联军，总之别说，英国人干的坏事

Admittedly, advancing health and education need not only vigor but fund of government. Those facilities need to maintain and invent, medical skills is become dramatically in the modern days. But when carefully weighting in mind, we may find that improving health and education are international issues, intake from international society is advisable. By contrast, art is unique for ant other country, ignore art is an inexcusable crime because art, once gone, is difficult to restore.

Overall, my view is that spend money in art is the precondition of advancing health and education. In despite of health and education is become increasingly dramatic, but those skills and facilities can intake from international society. For art, actually can not.

整篇文章我给5.5分

论据注意要由浅入深，

第一段，可以写艺术对于完善人的性格，对于个人修养的提高都是有好处的。

第二段，上升到社会的高度，投资艺术，建博物馆啊美术馆啊等，可以传承传统文化，保持民族特色

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