雅思写作口语范文10篇【雅思作文批改】5分:过于口语化注意语法

更新：2023年07月20日 13:40 雅思无忧

雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核，综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力，实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说，也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了雅思写作口语范文10篇【雅思作文批改】5分:过于口语化注意语法，希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题，敬请关注。
雅思写作口语范文10篇【雅思作文批改】5分:过于口语化注意语法

*应该对铁路比公路花钱？这位同学整体架构比较完整，但是口语化比较严重，语法错误比较多，基础不够扎实，需多多练习。最终得分4.5-5分，还有很大的进步空间。

作文题目:大作文：剑11Test1大作文

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

作文内容：

Traffic problem has disturbed government for a long term,as a lot of measure [b1] have been taken to solve that, [b2] there are still some problems remained,m[b3] any people say that government should spend more money on rail rather than road,but i can not[b4]totally agree with this opinion.

Railway, comparing [b5] with road,has larger capacity to load [b6] goods or people,and it is also a good choice for long-distance travel.One of the advantages of rail is that you will never meet a traffic light or jam on your way to the destiny[b7] .Government have invest [b8] a lot to make it more safe[b9]and convenient[b10] ,but sometimes it [b11] still makes trouble for people when it is at[b12]peak time;[b13] such as Spring Festival in China,there are even not enough tickets for those passengers who want to go home and [b14] they have to stay in the waiting room for a long time.So more basic facilities or more trains are needed to serve such a large number of people and increase the degree of comfort in passenger s [b15] journey.

On the contrast,road ,as another way that frequently used,is more flexible than railway,b[b16] ut things changed when traffic condition is poor,ad [b17] people nowadays spend a lot of time on traffic jam due to the increasing number of private cars,especially in those major cities.In order to figure this problem,government should invest to build more roads like [b18] overhead-roads to release the traffic stress ,so that the air quality[b19]in cities will improve a lot ,too.[b20]

Overall,fund [b21] are needed in both of areas,but it is not wise to say that more money should be used in rail or road,it must according [b22] to the circumstance.

[b1]measures
[b2]but
[b3]注意断句，Many
[b4]写作中是cannot
[b5]compared
[b6]transfer
[b7]destination
[b8]has invested
[b9]safer
[b10]more convenient
[b11]指谁？
[b12]改成during
[b13]符号不对
[b14]又是连接谁？
[b15]passengers
[b16]另起一句，大写
[b17]？
[b18]这是口语用词
[b19]和空气质量有关这个逻辑在哪里？
[b20]口语
[b21]funds
[b22]情态动词后用原形

各项细评：

针对问题最大的一点指出问题：

改这篇文章感觉像是改口语段子，因为口语化的说法很多，最大的问题是简单语法错误和复杂语法中句子的断句。句子可以写长，但长句也遵循语法规则，需要连词或者合适的代词。需要系统学习语法。
临考前建议整理一下论点思路，考场发挥尽量不要出大的语法错误就可以了。

附批改原图：

END

急!!!雅思11年7月9号写作,口语预测!!!

2021年5，6,7，8月雅思口语预测---转王陆老师博客！ (2021-5-17 09:38)
part1
1你的国家有什么类型的concert？
你上次亲眼看的或在电视上看的concert是什么？
看concert同听CD有什么不同？
2 Drawing （超级重要的题目啊）
Do you like drawing?
What are the benefits of drawing?
What are the benefits of drawing for *s?
Do you think the art is important to life?
Can you give an example of arts you learn?
What kind of art do you like?
What kind of art experience did you have when you were young?
What kind of art are you good at?
3 鸟类 Birds
喜欢鸟吗?
To tell you the truth, I don’t like them very much. They are too noisy.
中国鸟多吗?
Yes. In my hometown, there are sparrows, swallows, and some seabirds. I can’t name them. They can catch fish for fishermen.
鸟的含义？
In China, magpies mean good luck. When you see a magpie, it means something good will happen.
人们喜欢鸟吗？
It depends. Old people like birds, and you can see them take the birds in the morning.
见过多少种
I have seen many because I went to a bird forest in my hometown, and there are hundreds of birds there like, wild ducks (野鸭), cranes（仙鹤）and some rare birds.
中国常见的是什么鸟
Sparrows can be seen everywhere. They are common, and they can live in both hot and cold places.
养鸟做宠物流行么
It’s popular, but not so popular like keeping dogs as pets. My grandfather keeps birds. He has got some singing birds. They look lovely.
我们应不应该保护鸟什么措施
All animals should be protected, and birds are one of them. We should punish those who kill birds. Besides, we should protect the environment to give better living place to them.
Illegal to take their eggs
Illegal to keep them as a pet
Illegal to cage them
Illegal to eat native birds
Outdoor activities 户外运动
你认为教学中什么最有意思？
你认为同学重要还是老师重要？
housework
你认为中国人有很多时间做家务吗？
你小时候帮助做家务吗？
你最喜欢做什么家务，为什么？
你认为小孩应该学做家务吗？
number
中国的数字有什么特殊的含义？
数字在中国有没有特殊意义、比如哪些数字你需要记忆的。通常怎么记忆数字。
what are the lucky numbers in China?
do you think that it is easy to remember names or numbers?
what is your method of remembering numbers?
News
How do you get the news?
What kind of news are you interested in?
Is it the same for the old and young?
Is it important to know the news?
个人信息
Hometown Music Shopping Sport Film Reading TV vs Radio Email
Do you often write emails?
What are the advantages of writing emails?
What types of emails do you write, business or personal?
What’s the difference between letters and emails?
What kind of letter is hard to write?
Holiday
How do you spend your holiday?
Do you think people need holidays?
When did you spend your last holiday?
What did you do during your last holiday?
What do you like to do during the holidays?
What do you dislike to do during the holidays?
Do you think that you have enough holidays?
Color
What’s your favorite color?
Do you like the same colors now as you did when you were younger?
What can you learn about a person from the colors they like?
Do any colors have a special meaning in your culture?
What color would you choose if you had time to decorate your home?
Neighbor
Do you know your neighbors?
Do you think it is important to have good relationship with neighbors?
Do you prefer young people to be your neighbor or old people?
What problems will people have with their neighbors?
Flower
What do different flowers mean?
On what occasions do Chinese people send flowers to each other?
When did you last send flowers?
Time
Do you like to wear watches?
Do you think that time flies?
What do you think of the importance of time?
What is the best time of a day?
What was the first day like in your university?/job?
When did you use your mobile phone for the first time?
Friends
Do you want to go out alone or in a group?
How often do you meet your friends?
What do you do when you are with friends?
Airplane
Do you like to travel by air?
How often do you travel by air?
Do you think that people would travel more by air in the future?
Museum
Did you go the museum when you were young?
When did you last go to the museum?
Is there any famous museum in your country?
Many museums sell things to the visitors. Do you think it is right?
Sea
Do you like to live close to sea?
Why do people go to the sea?
Travelling
Do you like traveling?
How often do you go traveling?
Collections
What do Chinese like to collect?
What are the advantages and disadvantages of collections?
What did you like to collect when you were young?
Dancing
On what occasions do Chinese dance?
What are the differences between modern dance and traditional dance?
Living place
Do you live in a flat or a house?
What is there on the wall of your home?
What can be seen outside the windows of your place?
Do you like your living environment?
Is it good or bad for children?
Is there anything for improvement?
Clothing
Do you like buying clothes?
What kind of clothes do you like?
What’s the difference between the opinions of men and women on clothes?
Do you often wear formal or informal clothes?
Do you think that color is important when you buy clothes?
Park
What do people plant in park?
What are the advantages and disadvantages of parks?
What do people do in the park?
Photography
Do you like taking photos?
On what kind of situations do you take photos?
Could you tell me one of your happy experiences of taking photos?
Meal
What kind of food do you like?
Which is most important to you, breakfast, lunch or supper?
Do you think we should have more meals or have much at one meal?
What did you like to eat when you were young?
Do you still eat it now?
What would you give to your children in the future?
Do you like cooking?
Who does the cooking in your family?
What does he or she like to cook?
Would you cook more in the future?
Weather
What weather do you like?
What is the weather like today?
Do you think that weather may affect people’s mood?
Language
How many languages do you speak?
Did you learn other languages?
Do you think it’s necessary to learn other languages?
Birthday
Do people in your country celebrate birthdays? How?
Do you think it is important for people to celebrate them?
How did you celebrate your last birthday?
Is the birthday more important for old people or young people?
Party
Do you like to attend the parties of friends or families?
What is the difference between formal and informal party?
What do you wear to a party?
Do Chinese people often hold parties?
On what occasions do Chinese people have parties?
Weekend
Is weekend important to people?
What do people do on weekend?
Do you think people should be asked to work on weekends?
Do you think people should get more money if they work on weekends?
Which day do you like more on weekend?
What do you often do on that day?
part 2 重点要新准备的题目
1. your personality。（雅思王口语120页）2. a conversation on the phone （可以用116，117，生日和婚礼的内容）3. a friend who tends to be a leader (有领导潜质的朋友），介绍120的性格就行，说成是领导的能力之一。4. a building in your school or university （雅思王口语142页，P3问题在189页）5. a series educational TV program （与92页鸟和93动物内容结合）6. What would you do if you have one day from work or study (结合27张核心卡片中92, 93, 95,96,97, 107都可以）7. a successful thing you did (结合动物保护，生日，组织婚礼都可以）8.记忆中的歌曲（可以结合动物来谈）9. 你在新闻中了解到的人（都可以结合27个卡片）

一定把雅思王口语中的27个核心卡片掌握好啊。想得到高分的同学一定要把27个核心卡片好好准备些变化的内容。
part2 你喜欢在哪上学是综合性大学还是专业性大学（university or college）他们在哪儿他们应该长得怎么样里面的配置应该怎么样（facilities）
pate3 你认为乡村的学校和城市里的学校有什么不同；学校在未来需要改进么为什么；小孩子家里应该有电脑么；学校应该是有大的体育馆好还是有大的图书馆好
a leisure center
这个是介绍一个吃，喝，玩，乐的一个休闲娱乐中心。
ideal house
a vehicle you would like to buy （这道题要注意，介绍自己想*的车的原因，在妙语连珠的书中有答案）

favorite photo
a company you know about (一定要准备*all but successful的公司）
your favorite room in your childhood
a museum
your lifestyle (介绍自己的生活方式）
happy event in your childhood （小时候的高兴事）
unusual experience （一次不寻常经历，介绍旅游，迟到的意外都行的）
special family event
a foreign food you would like to try
a change you would like to make to improve your fitness or health
a peaceful place (这个与有噪音的地方是正好相反的）
an adventurous person （一个冒险的人）

【雅思作文批改】5分：过于口语化，注意语法

【雅思作文批改】5分:过于口语化注意语法

关于动物的雅思作文及解析

近年来，关于动物保护的问题逐渐为人们所担忧，对此，你有什么看法呢？下面我给大家带来关于动物的雅思作文及解析。

雅思作文动物话题

Some people argue that too much attention and too many resources are given to the protection of wild animals and birds. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

题目讲解冲尘

这次的题目是少见的动物类，但是同学们要将题目着眼于是否保护动物，而不要太纠结于too much, 否则可帆判段能会很难下笔或者缺乏思路。

范文为不同意观点。主旨：虽然动物们是生态系统中很重要的组成部分，但是其他态誉的社会问题更值得我们关注比如贫困与失业。

参考范文

In recent years, animal protection has become an issue of concern. People take different attitudes towards the increasing attention and expenditure on wildlife conservation. Some people suggest that the spending should be redirected to helping other fields in society. I agree with the view that the investment in wildlife protection is not worthwhile.

近年来，动物保护已成为一个令人担忧的问题。人们对野生动物保护越来越关注和投入的态度不同。一些人建议应该把这些花费重新导向社会的其他领域。我同意这样一种观点，即投资野生动物保护是不值得的。

Animals, as a key component of the whole food chain, have a profound impact on the sustainability of an ecosystem. As we known, every kind of animals plays an important role in natural balance. For instance, the demise of any species will lead to the growth or decline of other species. In some extreme cases, some species may at the verge of extinction such as Dodo bird. If people did not take actions to protect wildlife as soon as possible, we humans would be affected in the end.

动物作为整个食物链的重要组成部分，对生态系统的可持续性产生了深远的影响。众所周知，每一种动物在自然平衡中都扮演着重要的角色。例如，任何物种的消亡都会导致其他物种的生长或减少。在某些极端情况下，一些物种可能濒临灭绝，比如渡渡鸟。如果人们不尽快采取行动保护野生动物，我们人类最终将受到影响。

However, there are more issues that we need to focus in our society rather than protecting animals. In current social context, the primary task is still to improve living standards since there are many people living under the poverty line. Only when people are in a good living condition, can they pay attention to other social problems. Besides, technology and education are another two aspects of governments to concern. These two industries accelerate the development of society, which will provide a better protection for wildlife in turn.

然而，我们需要关注更多的问题，而不是保护动物。在当前的社会环境下，首要任务仍然是提高生活水平，因为有许多人生活在贫困线以下。只有当人们处于良好的生活状态时，他们才会注意到其他社会问题。此外，科技和教育是*关注的另两个方面。这两个产业加速了社会的发展，这将为野生动物提供更好的保护。

In conclusion, although the animal is a significant part of ecosystem, it is better for governments to invest more finance and resources in other social problems.

总之，虽然动物是生态系统的重要组成部分，但*更应该在其他社会问题上投入更多的资金和资源。

雅思写作话题高分范文有趣的动物

Describe a time when you saw an interesting animal.

You should say:

what animal it was

where you saw it

what happened when you saw it

and explain why you thought it was interesting.

1.适用考生：全适用

2.主题：锦鲤

3. 故事线：关于有趣的动物，我想告诉你关于锦鲤在中国很受欢迎，日本和其他亚洲国家。据我所知，锦鲤鱼是鲤鱼的色彩变化。一些主要颜色是白色、黑色、红色、黄色和奶油色，所以它们看起来特别奇妙。

雅思口语高分范文示例：

As for the interesting animal, I’d like to tell you about the koi fish which is very popular in China, Japan and other Asian countries. As far as I know, the koi fish is colourful variation of the common carp. Some of the major colours are white, black, red, yellow and cream, so they look particularly fantastic.

The koi are hearty fish. They can thrive in cold, fresh waters. And they are opportunistic fish, which means they eat a wide range of food, including insects, fish eggs, juvenile fish of other species and a diverse range of plants. What surprise me most is that the koi fish can live up to 70-year-old, as long as human.

Chinese people feed the koi fish for more than 1000 years. In China, they symbolise bringing good fortune and wealth, that is probably the reason why some many Chinese people like to keep them as pets at home in the tanks or ponds, especially the busines*en. Besides, I once saw a great number of koi fish in the lake of Olympic Forest Park in Beijing, being fed by children and old people. They are very aggressive as they would struggle in water to get the food. Besides, they are quite human-friendly, they even are not afraid of being touched by people in the water.

雅思大作文：动物的利用

growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that animals should be treated in the same way humans are and have similar rights, whereas others think that it is more important to use them as we desire for food and medical research. This essay will discuss both points of view.

有些人认为动物应该像人类一样被对待，有相似的权利，而另一些人认为利用动物更重要，因为我们渴望食物和医学研究。本文将讨论这两种观点。

With regard to the exploitation of animals, people believe it is acceptable for several reasons. Firstly, they think that humans are the most important beings on the planet, and everything must be done to ensure human survival. If this means experimenting on animals so that we can fight and find cures for diseases, then this takes priority over animal suffering. Furthermore, it is believed by some that animals do not feel pain or loss as humans do, so if we have to kill animals for food or other uses, then this is morally acceptable.

雅思写作动物保护类话题必备词汇

1. vivisection 活体解剖

2. perform. experiments on animals 在动物身上做试验

3. test animals 用于实验的动物

4. be subjected to experiments 被迫接受试验

5. animal rights 动物权利

6. clinical research 临床研究

7. cruel 残忍的

8. extremist 极端主义者

9. medical research 医学研究

10. origin of species 物种起源

11. alternative method 替代的方法

12. biological diversity 生物多样性

13. natural balance 自然平衡

14. equilibrium of ecosystem 生态平衡

15. coexistence 共存

16. endangered animals 濒危动物

17. diversity of species 物种多样性

18. shameless 令人羞愧的

19. barbaric 野蛮的

20. live and let live 活着就是与万物共存

21. meaningless 没有意义的

22. dominant species 优势物种

23. laboratory 实验室

24. vaccine 疫苗

25. infringement 践踏

26. right to live 生存权

27. torture 折磨

28. anti-science 反科学的

29. life-threatening diseases 危及生命的疾病

30. scientific gains 科学成果

关于动物的雅思作文及解析相关文章：

1. 雅思考试大作文范文环境与动物保护类

2. 雅思大作文范文环境与动物保护类

3. 雅思作文|小作文7种题型与大作文12种题型分类讲解

4. 雅思英语高分作文赏析

5. 雅思写作范文:20210708雅思大作文解析和范文

6. 雅思作文范文3篇

7. 雅思大作文写作7分范文鉴赏

8. 2021年雅思写作大作文预测及参考范文

9. 雅思作文:20211111雅思大作文题目解析和范文

10. 雅思书信类写作范文赏析

雅思写作

我前不久考过的雅思，我觉得雅思写作应注意一下几点：
1、注重写好文章的框架
2、句型的多样化
3、基本句型包括 Ⅰ．主谓句；Ⅱ. There be；Ⅲ. 主系表结构的句子；Ⅳ. 被动语态（我看到一张帖字说，不要用被动，我不这样认为，国外的文章，用被动的也比比皆是。）
4、复杂句型　包括 Ⅰ. 并列句；Ⅱ. 从句（定语，状语，名词性，非谓语）
5．词汇的Variety
说实话做到这点真的很难，首先你要有庞大的词汇量，第二你要用的恰当，不出错误。我自认做不到这点，所以我用的词汇有时候会重复。当然大家可以累计一些固定搭配的词汇，例如：激烈的竞争 fierce competition等
6、多举EXAMPLE（重要）
大家不要小看这点，我认为对于写作基础不是很好的考生来说，这点是最重要的。一篇文章如果让你从头到尾都在讲道理，你有这么多话要说吗？而且有时候还不一定说的清楚。那么这时候你就用例子来表明你的观点。我认识一个朋友，可以说她的英语基础很差，但她的文章也拿了6分，我问她怎么写的，她告诉我说就是拼命的举例子。就这点我也曾问过外教老师，他曾是IELTS的考官，他说考官欢迎考生多举例子。
7、建议：
1）、写文章最关键的就是审题千万不要出错误，不然就前功尽弃了。
2）例如我积累的句子：
Cultivate independence
Develop a strong sense of responsibility
Enhance social awareness
Build up one’s confidence and offer one’s a sense of achievement—realize ones value and capacity
Widen one’s horizon and sharp one’s character
这些句子比较常用，而且在口语考试中也可以派上用处拆裤。最后给大家介绍一种写作模式，我觉毕升得很不错旅数简：
With unprecedented advances in medical technology, a debate has developed over whether or not a person on life support has the right to die. On one side of the debate are those who say that...... On the other side is the view that...... In my mind, I completely agree/disagree the later .
There is no denying that ......has many positive effects. To begin with,......Secondly, ...... Finally, ......
However, every coin has its two sides. ......is no exception. Many opponents say that ......
To conclude, .....
【北外雅思】，北京外国语大学旗下雅思培训品牌！
学生学习生活均在北外校内，【北外雅思】=【名校】+【名师】=【包过】！

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