雅思11test1口语part2范文 雅思作文批改 剑2 test1 小作文 (高分求修改) - 百...

1.第一句at an early age应后置到句尾，原因是作时间状语比作后置定语更合适。本段最后一句中的behavior应改成manners,请注意manners是可以被teach的，但behavior不行！

2.第二段第一句at early ages of people改成at an early age，紧跟着后半句改成形式主语句it is vital to cultivate…。下一句people要么改成people as *s要么干脆改成*s以便与children相对应，要知道children也属于people范畴。

3.第二段最后一句people与后面的children不对等，而且people应该用所有格形式people's. 建议将possibility of these people …码判型rules in the future will…改成the possibility of disobeying…rules in the future for these children will …；最后的children under well- education要么改成children under good education， 要么改成 well-educated children.

4.第三段第一句of后面要加一个关键的短语the consequence of；而which引导的限制性定语从句要改成非限制性定语从句，而且句尾的mistakes前要加 the 。

5. 没看懂第二句的意思，必要时请在“追问追答”里说明。下一句compared to后面有两处要加the：to之后与children之前。

6. Abusing…这一句前半部分由于是状语从句，应该有一个类似as或because的词引导。下一句中children前加the.

7. 下一句sharing后面要加上it；confiscate这个词用得太大而迟猜且不当（其意思是to take temporary possession of as a security, by a legal authority！ ），不如用通俗的take hold of更好。下一句中如果praises是指同一种赞美言辞，使用 the same praises会更好。

8. 本冲做段最后一句feelings可以使用更具体一些的self-respect，而influence用consequence也许更好。

9. 最后一段是一句话，故最后一个逗号后要用and、whereas之类的连词连接；最后的awareness of what 应说清楚。

1．题卜袭型分类：事件题
2．参考内数弊拿薯搭容
Describe a time when you were asked to give your opinion in a questionnaire or survey
Content:
Advice/opinion/option/test
Subjective/objective item
On paper/online
Tick/cross
3．可用句型：
I was asked to give my opinions on…
The staff asked me about…
The questionnaire was designed in a … Way.
For instance,…
I replied / My answer was that…
After sending back my questionnaire, …
The researchers published the result soon, and I felt I was taken seriously by them.

The (graph 是曲线图，应该是表table才对) gives information about the consumer durables owned in the UK over the period from 1972 to 1983.

As can be seen from the table, the greatest increase (可以考虑加上during this period)was found in telephone ownership, rising from 42% in 1972 to 77% in1983. Next came central heating ownership, which rose considerably by 27%, form37% in 1972 to 64% in 1983. The percentage of households with a refrigerator grew 21% during the same period and of those with a washing machine by 14%. In addition, households with vacuum-cleaners, televisions and dishwashers increased by 8%, 5% and 2% respectively.In the year of 1983 their introduction,television ownership stayed in top position in terms of households with, which is about 20 times larger than (telephone错了，应该是 dishwasher 才对哦!) ownership. It is also interesting to notice that 18% of households had a video recorder in 1983. (Of course the reason was because they were the new invention of that time! 这句是的替你加上的，你不须一定要接受。)
(Another new invention was the dishwasher, their figures only started to show from the year 1978，also because they are kind of luxury, too expensive and no really a nessesity. Therefore they showed a very slow increase from 3% to only 5% in five years 这是的替你补充的，同样是，你可以加或不加上去都任随你。)

In conclusion, there were striking differences in percentage of households with in(within 是一个字) the 11 years spanning from 1972 through 1983.

原文写得甚好，只有一个明显的错处(把 telephone 当庆备作 dishwasher)。悔没
另外，我替你加长了碧差纳一些以供参考，你可以接受或不接受都由你。
希望会对你有帮助，若满意请及时采纳，如有不明可以继续追问，谢谢。

第一段第四行中than后面宜加介词at或者in，因为这儿是＂对于孩子们来说在小学比在中学学一门外语要好一些。＂

建羡扒蔽议第二段最后一句话前加上Besides，此冲使其和前一句接得紧凑一些。

第三段第六行中tongue 一词拼错。As long as 改为Once （一旦）。第七行grammar 作语法兄州讲时是不可数名词，应该去掉s。native languages前加their或者the。

时间关系，仅提以上几点不成熟的意见，抱歉！