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如何花式改写雅思作文 Ken老师点评:雅思作文学生习作(1)

更新:2023年04月24日 15:18 雅思无忧

雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核,综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力,实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说,也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了如何花式改写雅思作文 Ken老师点评:雅思作文学生习作(1),希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题,敬请关注。
如何花式改写雅思作文 Ken老师点评:雅思作文学生习作(1)

如何花式改写雅思作文 拓展作文内容就这么简单


雅思大作文首段的第一句话就是要复述题目,很多烤鸭在这里往会绞尽脑汁想同义替换词,但有的题目中关键词似乎并没有那么好替换,硬套的synonym一些情况下并不适合语境,在母语考官读来显得很不自然。如何才能自然的对题意进行改写呢?下面新东方在线刘美娟老师专门为大家讲解一下如何替换才能让你的作文获得高分。

# 方法1 同义词替换

alltheir working life – throughout their working life (修饰词同义替换)

solar energy -- solar power(同义名词替换)

arts subjects – art courses (同义名词替换)

universityfees -- money on tertiary study (同义名词替换)

chancesof employment --job opportunities (同义名词替换)

to monitor people -- to keep the public under surveillance (动词转名词词组同义替换)

# 方法2 换语序

Solar energyis becoming more and more popular as a source of household energy

-- Solar power as a source of domestic household energy is becoming more desirable

# 方法3 换词性

globalised world – globalization (形容词—名词)

# 方法4 换语法

1) 主被动转换

…to monitor people -- the people being monitored…

security cameras is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing

-- security cameras are recording the movements of ordinary citizens

2) 其它语法形式转变

peopleare living longer -- people have become used to the idea that they will probably live longer (时态转变)

an increasing number of people are suffering from health problemsas a result of eating too much fast food

-- The growth of the fast food industry has, without doubt,impacted on the eating habits and thehealth(因果关系转变)

# 方法5 同意转换或意义拓展

work forthe same organization -- remain in the same organization (同义转换)

over the past thirty years--in recent years (同义转换)

Nowadays-- In recent years -- In the 21st century (同义转换)

In some countries-- of many societies around the world (同义转换)

have more opportunity to study abroad -- have many more options regarding how and where to find that knowledge. (同义转换)

practical degree courses-- science, engineering or media (意义具体化拓展)

philosophy and history-- arts subjects文科(意义概括化拓展)

以下是红、蓝两本OG中的范文,看一看结合具体题目如何综合运用以上方法吧。

Some people work for the same organization alltheir working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organizations.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. (practice test 1-blue version)

For most people, when they get their first job they have little idea whether or not they will remain in the same organization throughouttheir working life. If they decide to change, they need to consider how this will impact on their career overall.

One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing.

Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? (practice test 2-blue version)

Over the past 50 years, people have become used to the idea that they will probably live longer than their grandparents did. However, a longer life is only desirable if you can look after yourself and be independent, otherwise there can be disadvantages for everyone.

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now “one big traffic jam”.

How true do you think this statement is?

What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars? (practice test 3-blue version)

Most people would agree that car ownership has increased in recent years and is causing a range of problems, particularly in built-up areas. I think there are a number of ways that governments can aim to deal with this.

In some countriesan increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? (practice test 4-blue version)

The growth of the fast food industry has, without doubt, impacted onthe eating habits and the health of many societies around the world. Diabetes, high cholesterol, heart and respiratory problems are all on the rise due to fatty and sugar-rich food. However, the question is whether higher tax would improve this situation or not.

Nowadaystechnology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening.

Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? (practice test 5-blue version)

In recent years,advances in technology have allowed governments, the police and privately owned companies to keep the public under constant surveillance. In many major cities and towns, security cameras are recording the movements of ordinary citizens. Whenever a cellphone is used, the call is logged, so the service provider knows exactly when and where the user made the call. Invisible satellites orbit the earth, watching us whether we like it or not. Is this, however, a development we should welcome?

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development? (practice test 6-blue version)

The pursuit of knowledge is a concept that is valued by most cultures.In the 21st century, we now have many more options regarding how and where to find that knowledge.

Solar energyis becoming more and more popular as a source of household energy in many countries around the world.

Why is this?

What are the advantages and disadvantages of solar energy? (practice test 2- red version)

Solar poweras a source of domestic household energy is becoming more desirable because many individuals and governments are concerned that burning fossil fuels adds carbon to the atmosphere and thus accelerates global warming and climate change.

Rising university feesand scarce employment prospects for graduates have led some people to say that universities should not teach arts subjects, like philosophy and history, and only offerpractical degree courses that maximize chances of employment.

To what extent do you agree or disagree? (practice test 3- red version)

Students spend a great deal of time and money on tertiary study; therefore, vocational subjects would be a better investment in terms of immediatejob opportunities. However, not everyone has an aptitude for science, engineering or media, and there is a need for graduates with expertise gained from arts courses.

Most people accept that we now live in a globalised world but not everyone agrees that this is beneficial.

To what extent is globalization a positive or negative development? (practice test 4- red version)

Globalizationis here to stay, driven by advances in information technology and resulting in scientific, technological and economic progress and increased international trade and investment.

Ken老师点评:雅思作文学生习作(1)

题目:Some people believe the fittest and strongest individual and team achieve the great success in the sports. Others believe success depends on their mental attitudes. Discuss on both sides. What is your opinion?

Sports, no matter what their scales are, are the combination of intelligent and psychological factors and physical power of team members. To pursue success in sports, these factors are all indispensable and interactive.
(Comments: 1.(Don’t repeat your mistakes!))

Some people may argue that the only determinant for winning a sport is the physical strength of the team members. Namely, the stronger the individuals are, the higher possibilities the team will succeed in a competition event. We have to admit that the majority of sports require team members to have fit and powerful bodies. However, we should also notice that competition with other teams is not fighting with them. It is hard to image that a group of strongest apes win a game against a team of higher intelligent creatures.

( Comments: 2.(Pay close heed to the fact that you should use the noun form to function as the subject !) (Object clause is a good choice, and the non-predicate structure is also acceptable, yet never confuse them!))

Intelligent and psychological factors, therefore, play another part of important role in sports. Provided that a team is equipped with the strongest team members, it is still less likely for them to succeed in one game if its members are pessimistic and lack of strategies in competing with other teams. One famous case which can illustrate the importance of mental attitude and intelligent factors is that the Chinese football team’s successful entrance in the World Cup. The motto of that team’s coach is that attitude determinates everything. With the guidance of their coach, Chinese football players finally won the entrance competition with the support of positive attitude and appropriate strategies.

(Comments: 3. (Excellent! Very good application of exemplification!)

(The original slogan of the Chinese football team is “Attitude is everything!”) What you used here may seem a little Chinglish.)

Intelligent and mental power and the physical strength of team members are mutually influencing one another. The advantage of physical condition may probably add confidence to team members and inspire their best psychological state. On the other hand, the optimistic and positive attitudes are most likely to stimulate the best potential of individuals and bring them encouragement and ultimately lead to success. It can therefore be arguably concluded that mental attitude and physical condition are both significant in pursuing a team’s victory.

Very excellent as a whole!

Just keep up the good work and do the same in IELTS exam!

Pay close attention to details!

Grades: 7

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