雅思作文修改：new 雅思作文修改：money

雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核，综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力，实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说，也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了雅思作文修改：new 雅思作文修改：money，希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题，敬请关注。

雅思作文修改：new language should be invented

题目：Some people think that a new language should be invented for people from different countries to use for the international communication. To what extent do you think its advantages far outweigh its disadvantages?

其实这篇并不怪啊，就相当于我发的讲义的重点题目第一题，一种全球化的语言。

In the contemporary world, globalization is making a large incidence around the world. The issue of invented a fresh language is an emotional one, with some people talking the attitude that is necessary to contrive a new language for people from different countries to use for the international communication.

The reason for this trend may involve the recognition that different language may cause dispensable trouble, even lead to a war and also restricted people who can only use their mother tongue to communicate with external people. By contrast, those who can use foreign language to get a high-paid career and immigrate to other countries have a high quality life. They tend to be more enlighten may to they broader view. Admittedly, having ability to communicate with people who has different culture background is increasingly remarkable. So, invented a new language may bring numerous benefits to not only a person, but countries from all over the world.

第一个立论段落的问题：主题句涵盖太多内容，太宽泛，变成几乎没有主题句

However, a great language frequently link to a variety of culture. Furthermore, originate a new language is a long-term evolution like Chinese. Classical Chinese is the beginning of Chinese which is throughout 5000 years of history and gradually evolve to modern language called Modern Vernacular Chinese. During that time, Chinese shaped a colorful culture which is magnificent at present. But, current science and technology is become increasing advancing. Scientist may totally create a new language which is combine diversity of culture.

这段的论述有点离题了

Overall, despite of creating a language may during a long-term period. But, modern technology can reduce that period and eventually contrive a new language. Speaking myself, its benefits are significant contributing factors to the development of world.

给你一点论据：

支持：

1. 个人生活，学习，工作带来方便

2. 促进世界的经济发展，国与国的沟通，社会进步

不支持：

1. 造成很多小语种和少数民族文化的消失

2. 造成世界的uniformity,使人们的生活变的dull或monotonous

雅思作文修改：money spent on art or education

题目：Many countries spend a lot of money in art. Some people think investment in art is necessary, but others say money is better spent on improving health and education. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In the contemporary world, art cost（costs） a large figure of money. Some people claim is necessary to invest in art. But still have some people deem that fund should spend（be spent） more on improving health and education instead of art. As far as I am concerned, the first view is overly simplistic.

Speaking myself, protecting art and diffuse it, is the precondition of advancing health and education. The first instance with respect to this is that the aggression on china in the early twenty century. Union army from eight countries used force and entry Yuan-Ming Imperial Garden where save the outstanding representation of Chinese artworks. A greatest art gold mine was destroyed at that time may due to the government of Qing Dynasty inability to strengthen their military and lock of money to maintain it exist. Before long, opium was widespread in china and contributes to negative quality of generation. Second place, education has to link to art, art is a soul of nation. There is no denying that no one country educates offspring without art. To a great extent, investment in art is a significant factor contributing to the development of person happiness and enjoyment.

这段的论据有点扯远了，而且你说的有误，圆明园不是八国联军抢的，是英法联军，总之别说，英国人干的坏事

Admittedly, advancing health and education need not only vigor but fund of government. Those facilities need to maintain and invent, medical skills is become dramatically in the modern days. But when carefully weighting in mind, we may find that improving health and education are international issues, intake from international society is advisable. By contrast, art is unique for ant other country, ignore art is an inexcusable crime because art, once gone, is difficult to restore.

Overall, my view is that spend money in art is the precondition of advancing health and education. In despite of health and education is become increasingly dramatic, but those skills and facilities can intake from international society. For art, actually can not.

整篇文章我给5.5分

论据注意要由浅入深，

第一段，可以写艺术对于完善人的性格，对于个人修养的提高都是有好处的。

第二段，上升到社会的高度，投资艺术，建博物馆啊美术馆啊等，可以传承传统文化，保持民族特色

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